Saturday, 4 September 2010

Can't make a sound

Round 28: Autumn 2028
last update/next update

Jace Novak is 71 and Magdalena is 64.

Narrated by Magdalena Novak

Jace and I lost our daughter Tessa recently, so naturally, this hasn't been a good time in our household. It's the worst experience either of us have ever been through.

Jace has been very quiet since it happened. He hasn't brought Tessa up of his own accord. It's just not how he chooses to grieve, I guess.

I know he's been thinking about her though. I don't think either of us have thought of much else lately.

I like to talk about Tessa a lot, even though it's hard for me too. Jace is really the only person I can talk to who I know understands.

I'm just an emotional mess right now and we don't know anyone else who has ever lost a child. I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

We have pictures of Tessa all over the house. Sometimes I feel like putting them all away. My heart breaks all over again when I see them when I'm feeling particularly fragile.

I don't want to pretend she never existed though. Tessa was such a wonderful daughter and I hope there will come a day when it's easier to look at pictures of her.

Araminta has been so helpful to me and Jace over the past week since Tessa died. I haven't felt much like doing anything and she has been an angel.

She makes sure we have something substantial to eat, even though neither of our appetites are at their best right now and we haven't had to think about chores at all.

She even brought us some groceries when she saw the fridge was looking a bit empty.

Araminta wouldn't take any money for them. I tried to insist, of course, but I was secretly relieved when she refused to let me pay her.

As if losing our daughter was not enough, we're not doing too well financially. We have a tax bill still unpaid from last spring, as well as Tessa's tuition for her final semester. It all just feels like too much.

I'm sure she would have come anyway but I asked Araminta to come to Tessa's wake, just in case I wasn't up to mingling. I wanted someone to make sure the guests were taken care of.

She was happy to do it. It was nice not to have to worry about anything.

Jace and I were both dreading the wake but it went about as well as these kinds of things can go.

There's not much anyone can say to make things better, of course, but it did mean a lot to be around so many people who cared about Tessa.

Lia and Gordon brought Annabel, Georgina and Gabriel with them and it was lovely to see them.

As always, of course. Gordon and Lia spoke to the girls about what happened to Tessa but they're really still too little to really understand.

We were so pleased to see Dominic again. We want Dominic to still feel welcome in our home, always. We really like him (which is saying something, considering the history Jace has with the boys our daughters have brought home!) and we know Tessa was very happy with him.

Had he and Tessa been given enough time, he might have ended up our son-in-law. That's one of the hardest parts of losing Tessa - thinking about all the life experiences she'll never have.

I get a little twinge when I look at Lia and Maia now, which I think I'll always have. It's always going to feel like there's someone missing.

I'm glad our daughters are so good about visiting us so often.

Even with that little twinge, I know Jace and I are both going to want to be around our family, more than ever.

Extra:

Just because Gabriel is adorable and I could use some levity!

Notes:
  • Title is from Can't Make A Sound by Elliott Smith.
  • I don't know if it was a coincidence or not, but Magdalena started crying right after I had her view the bouquet from Dominic in Tessa's room. :( It was so sad!
  • Jace and Magdalena had a $5000 debt and about $200 to their name when I loaded. After about 30 years, Jace decided to roll a want to learn a skill point though, so he managed to get a promotion. That bonus really helped!

17 comments:

  1. Oh man, I've been refreshing all afternoon, knowing this was coming, and then I didn't want to read it. :( So, very heartbreaking. The picture of her crying from the flowers/pictures is horribly sad. They seem so lost, and in the depths right now. I'm glad that they have a close family, and their daughters/grandkids do visit them often.

    Gabriel is adorable, I'm glad you added his picture at the end. You did a good job with all of this, I'm sure it wasn't easy to do the act, than write it all up.

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  2. That was such a sad but beautifully written post. I was at such a loss as to what to say when I read about Tessa's death. I definitely didn't see it coming. I'm feeling bad for the entire family and Dominic.

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  3. Thanks for your comments, guys!

    Maisie, this is definitely all a lot for Jace and Magdalena to handle right now. Jace doesn't cry a lot but Magdalena stopped what she was doing several times and just sobbed. It was so sad.

    And thanks. This little arc has been quite difficult for me to write. There's usually not quite so much tragedy in Sullivan!

    rome_raven, thanks so much! I was fretting about this update a bit and read over it many more times than I usually do!

    This is so hard for my poor Sims. Most of them don't experience anyone except their grandparents dying until they're elders themselves, and all their peers start dropping off. It's hit this bunch much earlier than that, unfortunately.

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  4. This side of the Novak family never had much luck, and now their daughter is dying? ROS's can be tough sometimes. Thank god she still didn't have children. It's just too sad...

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  5. I've checked your blog the minute I woke up this morning because I knew this was comming. And oooh, this was so sad, I almost cried again! A daughter isn't supposed to die before her parents, that's what my grandpa said last year at my aunts funural, and he's right!
    Poor Magdalena in front of those flowers/picture.
    Thankfully they have araminta to help them out! She seems like such a good help.
    The wake seems nice, lots op people comming to pay their respect, Tessa deserved it!
    I understand what Magdalena means when she says that there will always be someone missing with she sees Lia and Maia together, she's right about that!
    It's sad for the family.
    And like Flit said, this family really hasn't had a good year, have they. I hope things will get better for them.

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  6. Another sad update, it is a worst thing when parents loose their child. I'm sorry ot hear they also have money troubles, so they can't grieve in peace. It is not good having a debt hanging over your head.
    It is very nice from Araminta to help them and be around, that is exactlly what they need.
    Oh so heart breaking.

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  7. This was so sad to read. I really don't know how to comment. I try to tell myself that it's just a game but sometimes it feels too real.

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  8. Such a sad time for your poor Sims, I really hope that happier times will come to Sullivan soon. :-(

    Poor Dominic, and Tessa's parents and sisters, so sad....

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  9. Aww... So sad! Araminta is a wonderful friend, I'm glad they had someone around to help them out. *sigh* So sad.

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  10. Thanks for reading, everyone!

    Flit, Jace and Magdalena have been pretty happy most of the time but yes, they've always struggled with money and now this. :\

    I think it would have been sad either way. If Tessa had children, they would now be left without a mother but the way it is now, she'll never have the opportunity to have kids, which is also sad.

    Tanja, I agree, parents outliving one of their children is something that shouldn't happen. :( There's always going to be an empty space at family gatherings now and it's so sad. :(

    Araminta is Magdalena's oldest friend, so it's only right that she'd be around for her right now.

    Speechless, hopefully, next time we see Jace and Magdalena, their financial woes will have lifted a little.

    Araminta's a good friend. Magdalena would do the same for her.

    Sari, I feel the same way. It's easy to get involved in such a way that you forget they're just pixels on a screen, with your own Sims and with other people's (when they blog, at least).

    Astrid, it'll be sad for a little while yet but we'll get a bit of a break from it in the primary school update. Then a little more sadness when we visit Lia and her family.

    gallowaytownship, Jace and Magdalena don't feel like doing much right now, so Araminta's happy to help. It's a tough time for everybody.

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  11. I agree, I really didn't want to read this, but knew it was coming and know that I still have Dominic's update to get through as well. Yikes...better get more tissue.

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  12. Apple Valley, this update was very sad. Jace and Magdalena don't have much else to think about other than Tessa.

    Dominic's update, which is really his parents' household's update, is coming up today and is a little more balanced, because I focused on his siblings, as well as on Dominic.

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  13. Oh, I thought the last entry was sad. This one takes the cake. Oh how horrible to watch this family having to deal with this. Especially because sims will cry for so long after. It's horribly realistic, and so tough to watch.

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  14. Lunar, I think this is probably the saddest update I've ever written. I was actually a little depressed afterwards! There can't be much worse than losing a child, and so suddenly, so I guess that's no surprise. :(

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  15. That was the saddest thing I have read in a long time. Especially the part where Jace is making Tessa's bed and the room is so bright and cheerful. Than there was the picture of Lia and Maia.

    I now have the urge to call my sisters and just check up on them.

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  16. Very sad to see the parents so upset. Especially with Magdalena looking at the pictures of Tessa. Tanja's so right, parents aren't supposed to bury their children. This one hit close to home because my husband has gone through that. His oldest brother died 3 years ago at the age of 36 and his mom said the same thing. That sucks that they're having money issues, too. It's like one thing after another for them :(. Thank goodness for Araminta helping her friends out. And thanks for the adorable picture of Gabriel at the end.

    And I agree that you wrote this entry very well. I would be depressed after having to write this, too. When I played Sims 3 briefly, I made Davina and her parents but they were older (her parents were already elders and she was an (young) adult). And when her mom died, Davina kept crying and wailing because she had the over emotional trait. I started to feel really sad and almost started crying because she was so upset and looked so depressed.

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  17. oasisvalley, thank you because this one was hard for me to write. Not just because it was depressing but mainly because of the limitations of my writing skills! It's hard for me to get too serious sometimes.

    You know, I didn't decorate that room especially for Tessa. The whole house was done for a retro makeover at N99 but it just ended up fitting her so well. I wouldn't be able to look at it and not think of Tessa now.

    Danielle, it must be one of the saddest things imaginable, to bury your own child. How awful for your husband and his family.

    Araminta's a good friend to Magdalena, and to Jace, by extension. I'm glad I've thought to keep up their friendship for so long. It's kind of amazing to me, because I get so caught up with the romances sometimes, I forget to give my Sims friends, lol!

    Sims don't make it easy for you when you kill their family off, do they? They really act like you've broken their little pixelated hearts!

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