Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Hand to mouth

Round 32: October 2035 (Spring)

Sam Whitney and Susannah Carmody are both 25 and Zac is 1.
(Kimberly is 64 and Sarah is 30)

Narrated by Susannah Carmody

Much as we love him, Sam and I definitely not had an easy time with Zac since he was born.

Since birth, he's been very demanding of our attention and it gets exhausting. He wanted to be held constantly and even now, he's always wanting "up".

It's only recently that he's taken any interest at all in his toys, though we have certainly been trying before now.

It's a relief to be able to put him down with his blocks and know he'll entertain himself for 20 minutes or so.

There have been enough happy moments with Zac that make the not-so-great ones worthwhile.

Zac is very social and he's always trying to "talk" to us about something or other. He doesn't know many words yet, so it's mostly babble but it's exciting to watch him try.

He has his moments, like any toddler, but he's very sweet too and is very free with the hugs and kisses.

I didn't really know how Sam would be as a dad. My nephews have taken a liking to him but hanging out with other people's kids is different from having your own.

Sam is a fantastic dad though, so I didn't have anything to worry about.

Already, I can tell that Sam and Zac are scarily alike. I hope that means they'll be close as Zac gets older and not clash, as can sometimes happen.

As a couple, Sam and I have been having our share of issues lately and that has been really difficult.

Sam clashes a lot with my mother and is not really willing to take steps to try and bridge the gap between them.

I've asked him to make more of an effort to meet her halfway. He thinks he's done his part, when they first met and he's not really willing to try any more.

Mama didn't like Sam from the get-go and I haven't really heard the end of it the whole time we've been together. She seems to always be criticising him for one thing or another. Once she found out he wanted to quit his job, she really started giving him a piece of her mind. I tried to keep the peace but it was hard, because I agreed. You can't just up and quit your job when you have a kid to support.

I did raise the issue with Sam and he wasn't particularly thrilled to hear that I agreed with Mama. To his credit though, he promised he wouldn't quit but would keep his eyes open for something better while still working at his current job.

Sam hates his job but he now knows that he's sort of stuck there unless something better comes along. He's trying to stay positive about it.

It's just the way it has to be, so I do appreciate it.

Sam is a really great guy and I'm so happy that he stepped up the way he did when I got pregnant. I don't know where Zac and I would have ended up if he didn't.

He doesn't even complain about the grosser parts of parenthood. He just gets on with it. I'm really thankful for him.

At the same time, I've been wondering if we're really right for each other. Sam thinks we are. I know this, because he brought up getting married again. The first time he mentioned it was when I got pregnant but he really thinks that now, the time is right.

I probably didn't give him quite the reaction he was looking for. Who wants their girlfriend to look at them aghast when they bring up marriage?

I talked to Sarah about it, because I just had to get it off my chest and get someone else's perspective.

She suggested maybe it's not Sam and maybe I'm just not ready to get married at all.

I did consider that, because I know I'm still young.

I just don't think that's it though. I can see myself being married, easily. I just don't see Sam as my husband.

For the past several months, it's just felt like there's something missing between me and Sam. He's a wonderful father and on paper, he's a great boyfriend too.

We still get along. We talk, we laugh, we have fun together. I just don't have romantic feelings for him any more.

I ignored it for a while. I thought maybe we were better off staying together for Zac's sake. I hated the idea of tearing Zac and Sam away from each other.

A part of me was hoping that perhaps I'd fall back in love with him, if I waited long enough. The more I wait though, the more I feel that it's not going to happen.

So I sat down with Sam after we'd put Zac to bed the other night and explained everything to him. I tried to be honest without being too harsh but I knew he would be hurt.

I could tell he didn't see it coming. He wanted to marry me only weeks ago, so he has obviously been pretty content with things the way they were.

Sam wanted us to go to counselling, to try and save the relationship. If I thought there was anything a counsellor would say that might change how I feel, I would have agreed.

I don't think it would have been fair to either of us to stay together but that doesn't mean I didn't feel completely horrible. The right decision isn't always the easy one.

For the time being, Sam is still living here but when he finds a place, he'll be moving out and Zac and I will stay put. We don't want to disrupt Zac any more than we have to.

It's a bit awkward at the moment but Sam and I both agree that Zac is the one we need to watch out for here. I don't know what will happen once Sam moves out but I hope we can both continue to put Zac first.

Originally, this update was going to be much more light-hearted than it ended up being, so as part of the October Project at N99, I took some shots of Susannah and Zac going trick-or-treating with Camilla and the twins (who live in the same apartment complex). I know many of you are N99 members and have probably already seen these but I'll share some of them here too, for the benefit of those who aren't.

Most of the pics are self-explanatory but the last two are Charlie trying to gets his hands on Grace and Everett's candy and the kids not being particularly keen to fork it over. ;)

  • Title is from Hand to Mouth by Local H.
  • Sam and Zac have the exact same personality. I don't think I've ever seen that in a parent and child before.
  • As I said above, originally, this update was going to be a little different and it only really hit me a couple of days ago that I could not see Susannah staying with Sam. The main reason she moved in with him in the first place was out of necessity - she was pregnant and needed a new place and Sam had the money to set them up. Not a great basis for a relationship.
  • On top of that story stuff (which, yeah, is all in my head until I write it down here!), there were some game play things that factored into Susannah and Sam's break-up. Sam has always been more keen than Susannah - he's had the want to get engaged and married to her since before she got pregnant. Susannah has never rolled similar wants for him and just has a generic Get Married want at the moment. Even with the smaller romantic wants, Sam rolled a lot of them and Susannah didn't even roll any platonic wants for Sam this round. :\
  • Poor Sam quite clearly wanted to stay together. He rolled the want to Learn Couples Counselling right after they broke up. :(
  • As may have been suggested by the Halloween pics, Camilla and Susannah have become good friends, so we'll get another mini-update on how Susannah is doing when the Benton-Sitko family comes up. Sam has been demoted back to Playable NPC, unless he happens to marry a playable and worms his way back in. ;)


  1. Wow, I didn't expect for Susannah and Sam to break up, but it makes sense. Poor Sam looked so heartbroken, I hope he is able to move on with another love and get his "happy ending".

  2. Apple Valley, as I said, I wasn't quite expecting it myself but it hit me a few days ago that this was really the way it had to be. :( I'm hoping both Susannah and Sam can eventually find their "happy endings" - I'm not sure what's in store for either of them.

    Thanks for reading!

  3. I'm not surprised. Sort of felt like he would head this way. She just never seemed to be all out in love with him, always got a luke warm vibe. Then add that her Mom doesn't approve and you have more conflict. Most girls want their Moms to like their men. I hope they work things out well for Zac. Just found out the street up from us has a divorced couple living together for kids. Using see these two doing it long term but I'm glad it worked out well enough for now. That shows maturity over kicking him out. Poor Zac though. Sometimes unplanned pregnancies through a kink in your plans.

    Love her apartment, poor Sam. Set them up and now he has to move out. That's a definite financial loss.

  4. I'm actually surprised they stayed together this long. If Susannah hadn't gotten pregnant I'm sure she would have ended things a while back between her and Sam. I do feel sorry for him though. And I hope he stays a part of Zac's life. He's the important one in the equation.

  5. Maisie, "lukewarm" is probably a good word for Susannah's feelings towards Sam since she got pregnant. I think that changed things for her and she started to wonder if Sam was the right guy. And yeah, the fact that Kimberly didn't like him didn't help.

    I've heard of divorced couples living together, usually for the kids. I guess if you can make it work, more power to you, though I can't imagine doing it long term. It's a temporary thing for these two. I think they'll continue to look out for Zac's best interests. Poor Sam though.

    Thanks for reading!

    Riverdale, Susannah stayed longed than she might have, if there wasn't a child involved. It's a lot easier to split when you're responsibility-free but she gave it her best shot for Zac. At this point, it's looking like Sam will definitely stay a part of Zac's life, so fingers crossed it keeps up as Zac grows up.

    Thanks for reading!

  6. This is so interesting, because I thought that something was off about their pairing--apparently Susannah did, too! I hope they can work things out to share custody of Zac...

  7. Rachel, I think Susannah knew before I did, with her rather non-specific wants. There was definitely something amiss between her and Sam.

    Because Sam is a playable NPC now, we'll mostly see Zac at Susannah's place but I'll probably work a couple of pics in of him at his dad's every now and then too. I think these two will do just fine with shared custody.

    Thanks for reading!

  8. I have to say that I wasn't expecting this, though on the other hand it's not like it's a surprise, if it makes any sens at all?!
    It kind of seems like they only stayed together because of Zac, and it seemed like the 'fire' was gone.
    Poor Sam though, he really didn't see this one coming!
    I hope they can find a suitable arrangement for Zac, it will be hard on him when his dad moves out.

  9. Oh dear, it's sad that Susannah and Sam are breaking up, but given her feelings it really seems like it's for the best. I hope Susannah and Sam can work out a custody agreement that lets Zac be with both of his parents.

  10. Tanja, yes, I can see how the actual break-up was a surprise but the fact that Susannah and Sam were having problems means it also made a lot of sense as well.

    Zac was definitely the major reason Susannah stayed with Sam as long as she did. It's going to be hard on him with his dad moving out but his parents have his best interests at heart.

    Thanks for reading!

    Sarah, it is sad but like you say, it's for the best. I think staying together for Zac any longer would have built up resentment, which is never healthy. Sam and Susannah will be happier apart. :)

    Thanks for reading!

  11. Poor Sam. I didn't expect her to break up with Sam though. I was under the impression that she might wait a bit longer before she made a decision. Always a sucky thing when you have to deal with a breakup and a baby and living together.

  12. Wow, didn't see that coming. The emotion on Sam's face said it all. However, perhaps now they can find a better fit partner wise. Love the trick or treat shots!

  13. Choco, hmmm, she probably could have. Though breaking up now, while Zac is still so young, is probably better. This is just going to be his normal, eventually. I'm sure Susannah and Sam are both looking forward to him moving out. They'll be better able to move on then.

    Thanks for reading!

    Drew, Sam most definitely was not expecting this. In terms of attraction scores, Sam and Susannah are really well-matched but it just goes to show you, chemistry is not everything. For whatever reason, it just didn't work. We'll see who they end up with. Glad you liked the Halloween pics.

    Thanks for reading!

  14. I didn't see this coming either. When I was admiring the first shots, I was thinking how cute they look together. Sometimes it just doesn't work, though, and Susannah is absolutely right. It would be a terrible mistake to get married. Chemistry isn't everything, and it wears thin faster than anything else.

    I love the Halloween shots! You make the holiday and special event shots so memorable!

  15. S.B., all very true. Sam and Susannah are going to be much better off as friends, when they get past the inevitable awkward stage. They just didn't work as a couple and it didn't become clear until Susannah got pregnant and she had to start thinking long-term. :\

    Glad you enjoyed the trick-or-treating! That was really fun for me to set up. :)

    Thanks for reading!

  16. I love the trick or treating pictures! Sooo cute!

    Aww, it's sad that it didn't work out between the two of them. How tough to keep living together after a break up though. That made me cringe. Sometimes it's not as easy as just moving out, and I felt so bad for Sam.

  17. Lunar, I was planning on including some of the trick-or-treating shots as a part of the story. I went in a completely different direction at the last minute though and it no longer fit in. Glad you liked the pics!

    Living with an ex, especially immediately after a break-up, is definitely not a situation I ever hope to find myself in. I felt pretty bad for both of them, honestly. Sam just didn't have the money to move out, so he didn't have much choice. Once they move on, I think they'll be happpier.

    Thanks for reading!

  18. Aww, I just noticed the banner and I love it!

    I was just visiting a cousin and his 1 year old daughter this weekend and she's like Zac always wanting "up". She likes being passed around from person to person lol. Zac is so adorable, though, and I loved him in his little panda costume.

    It sucks that Sam and Susannah broke up but you're right. The reasons you gave aren't a good basis to stay in a relationship. Poor thing rolling up couples counseling wants. :( It'll be hard for Zac but not as hard as it would be if they stayed together longer. I know Kimberly will be thrilled. I'm really interested in seeing how Susannah will manage as a single mom. She's always been a favorite of mine.

  19. Danielle, thank you, it might be my favourite banner ever!

    Yeah, I have a friend with a little girl about Zac's age and I don't know how my friend handles it. This child would be carried all day if she could! She was on my mind, so I wrote it in with little Zac!

    I think if Sam and Susannah were going to break up, now was the time to do it. Zac isn't going to remember things being any other way - it'll just be normal for him - and hopefully, the awkwardness between Sam and Susannah will pass by the time Zac is old enough to notice. ;) It just wasn't working between them as a couple. Susannah's update will probably come pretty early next round, so not too long until we can see how she's coping.

    Thanks for reading!

  20. Funny that I read this and I'm having this very situation now, in one of my houses. I was sure it was going to work and they just drifted apart. I'm probably going to split them up next round. At least it looks like Sam will still be active in Zac's life, and I do hope Susannah finds someone she finds is right for her. I also hope the kid calms down some--that poor girl needs a break!

  21. Fini, yeah, sometimes the Sims have different ideas than we do! Maia and Nick's break-up was similar. I was almost hearing wedding bells but they didn't agree!

    I'm hoping both of them can find someone for themselves in the future. And Zac being a little less clingy would be very welcome for Susannah but his dad leaving might make that worse. :\ Sam is definitely planning on staying involved though, so that will make the transition smoother for the kid.

    Thanks for reading!

  22. Three months of Sullivan to catch up, OMG... I hope Zac isn't a teen yet! *lol*

    I'm not that surprised that they broke up. I was picturing pretty well Susannah and Sam being together because she was pregnant. Sure, there was attraction, but... well. I'm not surprised. Now, don't tell me they're finally married with two other kids since then!
    OMG. I checked Zac's profile!!! How he changed!!!!!!

    1. Hah, no, not a teen yet!

      I think getting pregnant and having Zac extended the relationship past its use-by date. Susannah was hoping to save it but the feelings weren't there.

      Ha, I should explain here what happened with Zac! I did genetic plastic surgery on Sam, before he met Susannah. Recently, I discovered the changes weren't sticking properly - when I sent him to the mirror, he had his old face. And when I aged Zac up, I realised Zac had inherited Sam's old face as well. So I remade Sam and made a new Zac in CAS with clones of Sam and Susannah. This is what he probably should have looked like all along! I should add a note about that to the profile, actually.

      Thanks for reading!